I didn’t know Albanians were into human trafficking, although I’ll admit that I know very little about Albania in general. In fact, all I know on it comes from an old “Cheers” episode…

Fortunately this week’s feature, The Wrestler, contains no hands birthed, no necrophilia, no kissing of bare butts, and no castration, all of which have been actual pro wrestling plotlines.

It’s actually a pretty fun film, although I highly suggest you brush up on your British phrases and Cockney colloquialisms before watching it.

It turns out it wasn’t Richard Nixon who was a hateful, vindictive bastard looking to smite anyone that looked at him sideways.

Michael Jackson is the best I’ve seen him in several years, even going at half intensity.

It was a rough October for The Dude, but he’s back from hiatus. And he’s still full of…hilarity! Well, maybe not hilarity. But occasional mild amusement.

Director Alexandre Aja must have been copping directly from the horror film universal playbook, because this film has a ton of standard scary movie clichés. So let’s run down the checklist…

It’s visually stunning, odd and fun, and older children will enjoy it. At times it’s like an animated “Sleepy Hollow,” at other times it’s more like “Moulin Rouge.”

Anna Faris never did much for me in the Scary Movie series, but she’s great here and quite believable as a Playboy Bunny, if you know what I mean.

I had pretty low expectations, and while the film pretty much justified those expectations, I’ll be damned if I still didn’t like it anyway.

There was a bunch of nakedness. But none of it was very fun nakedness, save for one silly scene that plays like something right out of an adult film.

It had me convinced that some decayed, walking corpse was lurking out in the dark garage waiting to throw poisonous rats at my face the next time I went for a soda from the fridge out there.

You have to be in a properly demented frame of mind to enjoy the barbaric, gruesome violence of Rambo and I must have been there because I had a great time watching Sly mow down an entire village of bad guys.